Lessons in humility...uh...Misbehaving Matthew

Church. A place of peace, encouragement, worship. A place to hear God's word, confess our sins, receive forgiveness. Well, for parents with small children, we experience church very different from the rest. We march in on a Sunday morning with our adorable little children dressed in the Sunday best. For the boys, it's khaki pants and collared shirts, for Abby it's a beautiful little dress. Sunday is the only time Abby wears dresses, so it's really something special.  We drop Abby off at the nursery (she's too talkative in church these days) and walk in with the boys. We smile and nod to people around us. The boys carry in their books and "busy bags", then when we find a seat, they open their bags and dig into the goodies. Jason and I sit down next to each other, give each other a quick, knowing smile and hope for the best.

Then it begins. The worship service starts and the boys start fighting over the toys in the busy bags. Matthew has a race car and Sam doesn't. Sam has a train and Matthew doesn't. There is some screaming. We get some "looks" from some people around us. Jason or I "hush" as loud as we can, in that forced quietness that parents use so often. I tell them to take turns, Jason tries to distract one with a different toy or a book. They are quiet for awhile. Then Sam wants to "sit" on my lap. So he does that for a few moments, then he starts laying down on my lap while I try to force him upright. Then he accidentally kicks Matthew as he's trying to lie down/get up while he feet and legs flail around. Matthew throws his head back and cries in typical fashion and tears start immediately rolling down his cheeks. Jason grabs Matthew and consoles him. We are at the scripture readings now. I have no idea what went on before.

Matthew is again happy and ready to explore his bag. He starts laughing wildly at something, we don't know what. Sam starts laughing too. Then one of them throws a toy at the other. Again, there is some more hushing, crying, consoling.

Then it's the children's message. This is Matthew's time to shine. Jason or I go with the boys up  front as they won't (and shouldn't) go up alone. They are both happy and excited. Jason or I are not happy or excited, rather we are anxious and worried about what will come next. Last week I wore pants so it was my turn to go up with the kids. We sat in the front of the church, the boys were next to each other and I was to their right. As soon as we sat down Matthew started to make loud sputtering noises. What on earth? I hush again and he laughs. Then Matthew bear hugs Sam, almost like a seated tackle and starts to take him down. Both are laughing. I try to separate them and tell them to sit still and listen. The pastor interrupts his message to tell the kids (my kids) to listen to their mommy. Ugh.  That's embarrassing. I grab Sam as he is the closest to me and put him on my lap and bear hug him while he flails about. I am unable to grab Matthew as he's too far away so I hope for the best. He inches away, then lunges forward and pulls at Sam's arms. They both laugh. I hush and struggle to restrain Sam and hope Matthew just doesn't start running around up front. Finally it's the prayer, then time to go back to the seats. I don't look at anyone as we return, rather I keep my eyes down.

The rest of the service is more of the same except that Sam announces he has to potty and go poopy. Jason rushes him out and I flip through a book with Matthew. Then it's over. I don't know what the sermon was about. I don't know what songs we sang. All I know is that I'm exhausted, embarrassed, sweaty, disheveled and well, pretty humiliated. Any sense of pride that I felt going into church is completely gone and I've been put into my place. All sorts of thought go through my mind. "Someone is going to die."  "Why can't they be more like so and so's kids?" "They are not getting to watch any TV today. No, no TV ever! No more cars! Banned to their rooms! No snacks!" "What am I doing wrong?" We walk out of church, but the antics are not done yet. On occasion, Matthew, the little offensive lineman, tries to push his way out. Once we get to the pastor at the door, he shuns the handshake and throws him a glare. Well, that ends it. While I may not have gotten much out of the sermon, I am certainly more aware of my own sinfulness (and my children's) than I was before. Just look at my thoughts. Yep. I need a Savior. I need grace, mercy, patience. All of the above. Because I certainly am not good enough to make it to heaven based on my own merit (or parenting skills). 

"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25

Misbehaving Sam

Sam has been in the habit of getting out of bed after bedtime again. After a few months of goodness, he has decided enough with that, and is back in top form. A few weeks ago I tried the tape on the floor trick in which I put three pieces of tape on the floor by Sam's door, representing different degrees of openness (or closedness). For the first infraction, Sam's door is closed slightly to the first piece of tape, and so on, until the door is closed. Well, we've made it to closed almost every night and when we were talking about it, he said he didn't mind having it closed to "1" or "2" (that's what he said), so we decided to remove a piece of tape.

He is still getting up and making up various "needs". For example, two nights ago he decided that Jason and I needed to sleep with some of his "friends" (stuffed animals), so he came into our room and placed a few stuffed animals with their heads on our pillows and bodies under the covers. I warned him his door was going to "1", but he was insistent that we sleep with his friends. So he told me he was going to finish up and then I could move his door to "1". Arrrrrgh. Anyway, in the morning he was quite disappointed to see that Jason had moved his friends to his bedside stand, rather than sleeping "with" the friends all night. Jason tried to explain to Sam that the friends were kicking and much too squirmy but he was still unhappy. I had left my friends in the upper corner of the bed, which was also unacceptable. Sam got into bed next to me and  laid down and showed me exactly how I should hold the friends (right on my chest, with the feet toward the face).

So tonight, after night after night of Sam getting out of bed, Jason and I were watching Top Gear and at about 8:30, a half hour after Sam went to bed, I commented that Sam didn't get out of bed tonight. Well, there was a particularly funny part in which one of the guys was dressed as an astronaut and Jason and I were laughing about it. Then we heard another, very quiet laugh. And there was Sam, sitting on the landing watching Top Gear too. Jason got him back upstairs and moved his door to "1". Clearly we need to find another system. Now, if you're wondering if Matthew is going to get equal discussion regarding misbehaving, come back tomorrow (or the next day) for a post about our latest attempt at having Matthew in church with us (rather than the nursery).

Playing at the sandbox

Abby likes sweet corn

On Friday evening Grandpa Don and Grandma Sue stopped by for a visit on their way back to Iowa from the cabin. Grandpa and I were husking corn for supper and Abby was playing on the deck until she got fussy. At that point, Grandpa Don held her and she helped husk the corn. She would grab part of the husk, pull and grunt and try to get it off the corn. After helping with an ear or two Abby decided she wanted to eat the corn rather than just husking it and setting it aside, so she did. Ummm. She really liked it and appears to prefer it raw rather than cooked. I did eventually cook the corn on the grill and I cut off a small piece of an ear so she could eat her corn on the cob like the rest of us which she thoroughly enjoyed and kept her occupied for a good deal of time during our supper.

More "UpNorth" 2012

Sam's first fish caught with a Cars fishing pole

Sam showing off his fishing mojo

Speaking of vacation, on the way up north I asked Matthew if he was excited for vacation. He said "No," and I asked him why and he responded that "Vacation is scary". Hmmm. So I asked him if he was excited to go to the cabin. To that, he yelled, "Yeah!!!". Oh, Matthew. He still insists that vacation is scary, but he liked going to the cabin.

Matthew's first fish (covered in seaweed)

So the boys did some fishing off the dock and Sam is quite the caster. He casts like he's been doing it forever and got it quite far into the lake. His first catch was a pretty large bluegill. W he told the family members who weren't at the dock about how big his fish was, he spread his hands about a foot apart. It wasn't quite a foot long bluegill, but it was pretty big. He's a good fisherman already. Sam then explained that Grandpa Don tried to catch some fish too, but he didn't get any. Although Sam wasn't too impressed with Grandpa Don's catches (sorry, Grandpa!), Sam apparently thinks highly of Uncle Jim's fishing as he was quite excited to tell Uncle Jim about his catches (which he didn't get to because we had to leave when Jim was out fishing). Matthew also got into the fishing action and caught a large bluegill. When the boys saw the fish on the hook they weren't really scared, they were kind of interested, maybe bewildered, or intrigued. It's hard to describe how they reacted, but it sure is neat as a parent to get to see your kids' reactions to a new experience. 

Sam's second fish. It wiggled around some and got Sam a little wet, thus the face.

Abby did not go fishing, but she did get to go on her first boat ride. She handled it as well as can be expected for having to wear an over-sized infant life vest. She fussed just a bit and rode around for maybe 10 minutes or so. Matthew also went on his first boat ride too and he seemed to enjoy it as long as he was sitting with Grandpa Don. I went on a few boat rides with Grandpa and Grandma and Sam and Matthew and most of the time my lap was empty as the boys preferred to sit with their Grandparents.  It was actually a nice break, because when I was around Abby occupied my arms and lap extensively and if she wasn't with me she was generally quite unhappy although she tolerated Jason pretty well. The boys also enjoyed playing on the boats when they were at the dock. They found Grandpa Duane's boat tools and proceeded to "work on" the boat. 

Abby crawling around and getting dirty  after breakfast

Jason and I had quite a nice time, despite the stress of going on "vacation" with three small children. Abby took good naps, so that gave us some free time and the boys played a lot with Grandma Sue who loves to run around with her active grandkids. I told Grandma Sue that her vacation apparently starts when we leave as she definitely didn't have any down time with the kids around. Jason and I got some swimming and reading in and played a lot of bean bag toss. I'm surprised (and not surprised at the same time) with how much bean bag toss we played. We played and played and played and honestly, Jason just couldn't win. So we played some more. And more. And I played left handed. And we played some more. I think Jason wants to play some badminton now that we're home as he has a much better record in that game.

Throwing rocks off the dock after playing in the water

Vacation

On Saturday we left for a trip up to Long Lake with the Reese side of the family. We returned yesterday around lunchtime as Jason had to go to work in the afternoon. It was a fun trip and Sam said more than once today that he missed "the cabin". For my Minnesota readers, the Reese family doesn't go to "The Lake" as most Minnesotans do, we go to "The Cabin" on Long Lake. There used to be a cabin in the family, but now Grandpa Duane and Grandma Verna rent two cabins at a "resort" on Long Lake and we stay there with whoever can come from the Reese family.

We shared a 3 bedroom cabin with Grandpa Don and Grandma Sue and our family of 5 shared 2 bedrooms for which we were grateful. It started off that Sam and Matthew were going to share a room and Jason, Abby and I were going to have the other room. However, the boys enjoyed sharing a room too much that Jason had to intervene and sleep in the room with them. Matthew had his own pack-n-play and Sam was supposed to sleep in the bed, but after bedtime they were switching locations, laying in the bed together, laying in the pack-n-play together, swapping books, laughing and talking and having all sorts of fun well after they were supposed to be sleeping. After two nights of that arrangement, I decided that the boys needed to be split up if any good sleep was going to occur between Sam and Matthew, so Matthew and Jason got one room and Sam shared a room with Abby and I. That actually ended up working pretty well. I don't know why it took us two nights to figure out that arrangement would be better, but now we know and can be better prepared for the future.

I knew that Miss Abby would be a challenge for sleeping arrangements as she has a hard time tuning out her surroundings when she is sleeping and needs a dark, uninteresting place. She sleeps like a champ in her room, and in the walk-in closet at Grandpa Don's house, but anywhere else is difficult. She just looks around too much and gets too into her surroundings that she has a hard time sleeping. So Grandpa Don put together a frame out of PVC pipe which we draped a large, dark blanket over and Abby had her own pack-n-play "room". It worked stupendously well. She napped without problem and slept at night very well. She woke a bit more than usual, but it may be that I just heard her more easily than I do at home since she was two feet from me rather than down the hall.

Anyway, here are some of the pictures from our trip. I will post some more tomorrow, but this gives you a taste of our vacation.

Brothers

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This picture is from a few weeks ago, but I don't think I posted it so here you go. One of the many moments when the boys were getting along well. They were playing again in the stairs, which continues to be a favorite location. Speaking of them getting along, Matthew was having one of his many tantrums this morning and I was ignoring him. He wanted to be picked up, but my arms/wrists have really been hurting lately, and he had already been carried around a good deal, and he just didn't need anything. So he was standing behind me screaming as I was cleaning up the kitchen. And then Sam came over to him and wrapped his arms around him and told him it would be okay. It was a wonderfully thoughtful gesture, although Matthew didn't think so and notched up his screaming. Overall, the boys really treat each other well. Of course, they fight about trucks and books and have no interest in a particular toy or book until the other shows interest in it and then they fight, but all the moments of getting along and brotherly love totally make it bearable. At least for now.

Making lists

For the past few days Sam will occasionally grab a crayon or marker and a pad of post-it notes and start writing "lists". The first list he made was what we were going to need to take with us when we go up north soon. I can't remember everything he told me he was putting on his list, but I do recall that it included a fishing pole that Grandma Sue needed to bring. He also made a list of how we were going to get there. We were going to go to Iowa to pick up Grandpa and Grandma, then go to the cabin. Another list he made was what we were going to do up north. Today he made a list of what we were going to do in the afternoon and when Grammy and Papa came over for dinner. His list included "4 hours of digging", and playing with trains. About the digging, Jason has been doing some yard work which involved a lot of digging, so that's apparently where that came from. Sam is still learning about the concept of time, so he will pull out random numbers and measurements of time for various activities. For example, he'll say, "In a few years we're going to Grammy and Papa's". He means a few days or hours but all those different intervals of time are not quite connecting for him yet.

He will sit, thoughtfully, and "write" on his post-it, then think for awhile, then write some more. During his thinking time, he puts his hand by his mouth, and looks off reflectively. He will often put his crayon or marker behind his ear while he's thinking. Today I picked up his pad of post-its as I hadn't looked at his lists yet to see what he was writing and I was surprised to see page after page after page of hash marks. So he was making his lists and marking off each item with a hash mark.

Sam obviously gets his knack for lists from Jason. Ummm. No. It's me. Although I believe the only list that I make that he's familiar with is a grocery list. Not that that's my only list. I make a list at the beginning of each day of things I want to accomplish for the day. Usually it's only 3 or 4 things (really, it's hard just accomplishing 3 or 4 things with 3 little mess-makers around all the time) like "clean the bathroom", "freeze green beans" and "laundry". Those "extra" things are usually plenty of work on top of all the cleaning, diapering, feeding, cleaning, wiping noses, wiping butts, wiping up messes, sweeping, vacuuming, feeding, putting away, disciplining, encouraging, feeding, diapering, reading, playing that comes with staying home with my little kiddos.

Back to the lists. I tell you, it really melts my list-loving heart to have Sam making lists. He may look like a little Jason, but he must have some Reese in him too.

Shoes

Abby got her first pair of shoes yesterday. We had gone to Perry Park in the morning and she was quite happy cruising around on what she could grab and crawling around. She does a bear crawl when on concrete or grass, so she keeps her knees off the ground and her little butt is up in the air. All she had was socks on her feet, and it didn't seem to bother her much, but it just seemed dirty and uncomfortable to me. So after the kids' naps we went to the mall to find a pair of shoes. I think the boys got their first pair of shoes around 9 months of age also.

Her feet were measured and her shoe size is 4. I told the sales person I wanted some play shoes, nothing fancy. She brought out a few options and they were all very girly. Bright pink and sparkly. I was hoping for something more subdued but that was not to be. So I picked a pair that I thought would work and we left with some cute, but very pink shoes.

The boys were very good at the shoe store. They were reminded that there was a play area at the mall and we would go there if they were quiet and stayed near me (in the past, Sam has had a tendency to flee) while we were at the store. They behaved perfectly. Matthew remained in the double stroller while Sam walked around a bit in the store. What good boys! Abby didn't even fuss when a stranger touched her feet. I suppose it helped that I was holding her during the fitting as she usually doesn't like to have much to do with strangers. I remember Matthew was very perturbed when I got shoes for him the first time around.

So the picture to the right is our family in shoes. That's the only family picture we have representing the five of us. If you'd like a print let me know. Sam still has Matthew beat in shoe size, but Matthew still has pretty big feet for a kid (Sam wears 9.5 and Matthew 8.5W). Jason has me beat in shoe size too (the picture makes it hard to tell). He wears size 11 (men's) and I wear size 11 (women's).


 And here's a symbolic picture of my shoes and Jason's, with Abby's in the middle. Maybe tomorrow I'll get a picture of the princess with her pink Mary-Janes.