Persistent. Vocal. Tough. Opinionated. And to be completely honest, I'm a little afraid of him. Although he isn't as defiant as Sam was at that age (like he hardly ever says no), he has some tendencies which are difficult to deal with, so I do my best to avoid them. For example, he throws these crazy fits (generally short, but nonetheless crazy) when he can't find blankie. So I frantically run around trying to find blankie. Anything to stop the madness which is Matthew in distress. He screams, waves his arms around, throws things, stomps, jumps and goes crazy. When he was a baby I used to call him "Crazy Matthew" and say that he's a pistol. Well, now that little pistol is almost two and although he's grown taller and more imposing (I'm joking...seriously...) he has retained his craziness and it has, shall we say, matured.
It is getting worse too. I read the other day that kids his age can get easily frustrated when they can't accomplish something they want to and they show their frustration in toddlerish ways such as tantrums. Matthew, being quite independent, likes to do everything by himself, but he gets extremely frustrated when he can't do what he wants to. Then he throws things, screams, waves his arms, stomps and jumps and goes crazy. For some reason, though, it's not too aggravating (although I am a little afraid of it), it's somewhat amusing and it means I'm having to learn some other parenting skills. Really, Sam just didn't get frustrated in this way, and although he threw tantrums (and occasionally does sometimes), they mostly related to not getting something he wanted (like more TV or snack) and I found ignoring or having him go to his room to complete his tantrum worked perfectly well. Not for Matthew, though. I have to intervene. I have to diffuse. I have to help him without doing it for him, but provide appropriate guidance so as to allow him to keep trying to do things on his own. It's really quite a challenge.
Playing with Sam has presented special challenges related to "sharing" toys. When Matthew was little, there wasn't a problem as Sam could take his toys without retaliation, but now that Matthew knows better, Sam taking his toys is a big problem. And it causes Matthew to scream, throw toys, flail around, hit, and scream, scream, scream. So I have to quickly intervene so no one gets hurt (usually Sam). The thing is, it's not really a tantrum in the sense that "Matthew didn't get candy at the grocery store", but it's just pure, unchecked, raw toddler emotion. Wow.
About Matthew's persistence. I remember when we were weaning him at night and I thought he was very persistent in his crying. That's when I started keeping ear plugs at my bedside. Really, doesn't he just get it that he's not getting any more night-time snacks and give it up? But no. He was very persistent and tried my patience to the fullest (I write that now, knowing full well that my patience will likely be tried even more in later years...oh dear). Little does Matthew know that I am also very persistent and once I decided he wasn't getting anymore night-time snacks, HE WASN'T GETTING ANY MORE NIGHT-TIME SNACKS! Anyway, now he will occasionally cry out at night for whatever reason and also for whatever reason, he cries out "WANT MOMMY! WANT MOMMY! WANT MOMMY!" over and over and will not be consoled by Jason. He will continue to cry out "want mommy" a hundred times or more, for 5 or 10 minutes until I acquiesce or Jason is able to convince him to stop. One night, a few weeks ago, Matthew was having a want mommy fit and Jason eventually told him forcefully that Mommy wasn't coming. Matthew then screamed "WANT HORSEY!" (he's been sleeping with a white and purple that Abby got from a friend of ours). Jason handed him Horsey, Matthew said "thank you" and went to bed.
The funny thing about Matthew's fits is that one moment he is going crazy and the next moment he is saying "thank you" and is completely calm. He is really a polite boy, nice boy when he's not crazy. Oh Matthew, Matthew, Matthew. Always keeping us on our toes. I can't wait to see what challenges Abby will bring down the road.
No comments:
Post a Comment