New chair

Matthew really likes sitting on stools, baskets, steps, anything that is low and easy for him to access. He also likes to sit on regular sized chairs, too, but he sometimes has trouble getting up on them and that means that he starts screaming when he can't climb onto the chair that he wants to. Anyway, for a few weeks I've wanted to get the kids a small chair to have inside the house. We have some small (and rather unsturdy) outdoor chairs for the kids which they really enjoy and I wanted something for them inside the house. So the other night Jason and I were on a "date" and went to Home Goods. We saw this little kid chair while there and considered it but went home empty handed. However, this afternoon, after seeing Matthew enjoy sitting on a basket of books, Jason said we should go get the chair. So we did and thus far, the kids love it. Matthew got to spend a lot of time on it by himself while Sam was napping and when Sam got up, the kids spent a fair amount of time fighting over it, usually with Sam winning. We knew it would be a source of contention, but figured since it had an ottoman it would maybe work out. If there are more frequently problems we'll have to go to the timer system or something like that. We'll see how it goes. Anyway, he's a pic of the kids enjoying the chair together. One of their happy moments of sharing.

We also played outside a little bit this morning and I took a few pictures of the kids. Matthew was still in his church clothes as he went from church to nap to outside, but Sam had changed into his play clothes for the day which was a very good thing as he got quite messy when we were doing some weeding and yard work. Sam was playing with a flag that we got at the Forest City parade a few weeks ago and he waved his flag, walked around and sang about being in a parade. Then it got to 90 with high humidity so we didn't spend a lot of time outside otherwise.

Something about hats

The kids have a tendency to put things on their heads. I don't know how it began, but it is a regular occurrence at our house. Matthew likes to grab the kitchen towels and drape them over his head and walk around like the Virgin Mary. Both like to grab various buckets, totes and bags and put them on their heads (...definitely don't allow this without proper supervision). I believe this started when Jason showed them how the storage totes for kids' toys made nice helmets. So all the toys they're storing get dumped out and the totes end up on the head.

Yesterday we were playing in the driveway and Sam was riding his tricycle. He's really getting good at riding at it, he goes fast and makes sharp turns and even races toward me and manages to successfully stop within inches of where I'm at. So anyway, Sam was riding his tricycle and he came over to me and said he was going to get something. Ok. So he rode into the garage (Matthew either followed him or pushed a riding toy back and forth across the driveway) and emerged with an empty ice cream pail. I asked what was in it and he said nothing. I told him he had to fill it with something, so he went back into the garage and emerged with the pail and filled with an empty plastic plant container (quart size).  I thanked him for the gift and he went back to riding the tricycle. Matthew then took the plant container and, of course, put it on his head. He proudly walked around, sometimes managing to go a few feet without it falling off. He looked like a little Shriner with his hat. I got quite a laugh out of it and when Sam realized how much I was laughing and how much attention Matthew was getting, he thought he'd better start wearing the ice cream pail. So he put on the ice cream pail, said he was in a parade and went back to riding the tricycle. Oh, what a laugh I got. The simple joys of being a parent of small kids.

Always behind and letting go

It seems that a feature of being a mother of small children is the feeling that I'm always behind. Maybe I'm caught up on the dishes, but the laundry isn't done. In fact the clothes in the dryer have been there for two days. At least they're dry and clean, but also very wrinkled. Or maybe I have dinner ready when Jason comes home, but I didn't get the bathrooms cleaned. Or maybe I picked up the toys, but the snack dishes are still out and crumbs are still all over the floor. There is this constant feeling that I'm behind.

And then there's the problem that I have my own interests and like to spend my few hours or minutes of free time (on a daily basis) to do something that I really enjoy, like read, or bake or knit. So I get to the end of the day (at 8:30PM) and want to spend time on myself instead of finishing the cleaning tasks I didn't get done for the day or pick up the random stuff that isn't in it's proper home. Yesterday afternoon both kids were napping at the same time. A rarity as I mentioned in another post, but they were both napping and I had some unexpected time to myself. I could have cleaned the bathrooms, that's on my to do list, but I really wanted to make pie. Yummy, yummy pie. From scratch. Everything from scratch. I was spoiled by pie from scratch growing up, so store-bought pie was not an option, nor was ready-made pie crust. Nothing ready-made comes anywhere close to a good homemade pie crust. So I made fresh cherry pie. And you know what, I had fun and our family enjoyed some good pie after dinner. The bathrooms still aren't clean, but we have some pie.

So it comes down to more decisions involving a trade-off...is the happiness I will experience from making and enjoying pie outweigh the unhappiness I feel from having a semi-dirty bathroom? In this case, I came out positive, but I know that if the bathrooms were in a much further state of uncleanness I would go crazy every time I go in them and would be unhappy. Maybe tomorrow the bathrooms will win, but for the time being, it was the pie.

But I'm still behind. I never quite catch up, but I've learned that that's okay. I just have to let go of certain things to maintain my sanity. After all, I do live with three Kirchhoff men and if I didn't just let go of certain things I certainly would go insane. I could spend all my "free time" cleaning and tidying, but I sure wouldn't be happy. And although I do a lot of my cleaning and tidying when the kids are awake, I also spend time with them, reading and playing in the sandbox. A clean house can come later, but sanity is important now and the time with the kids, once it passes, I can never get it back again. So I learn to live with the feeling of always being behind, and just let go and live.

Swimming

It seems that throughout my day things happen that I think I should blog about. But then by the time evening comes and the kids are in bed (usually the only time I have time to blog) 1) I have forgotten what I was going to write about and 2) I'm too tired to write anything. Anyways, sorry about the dearth of posts over the past few months. I guess life is just like that these days. Somehow I don't think that will be improving over the next few months, or even years.

Yesterday we set up the inflatable swimming pool in the backyard. I didn't get it out last week as it was too hot for me and the kids to be outside, even when swimming. So I got it out yesterday. Sam didn't take a nap yesterday so I was happy to fill the pool and give him something else to do for the afternoon. He happily waded around in the pool and would occasionally submerge his entire body (except for his head) and "swim" from one side of the pool to the other (it's only about 5 feet long). Much of his pool playtime involved filling the measuring cups I had brought out with water, using one of my large kitchen spoons to "mix" and bringing the filled cups over to me, telling me they were various food creations. His favorites were pasta (it was very tasty) and water mixed with honey and sugar. We had pasta for lunch yesterday so that's where that came from, but the water with honey and sugar is a mystery to me.

Matthew was napping in the beginning, but awoke shortly after we started swimming. He too didn't take much of an afternoon nap. Days like that are so long and tiring for me. But the kids were pretty happy, so it wasn't too trying, other that I was just exhausted. Anyway, Matthew didn't want to do anything but sit on my lap for about the first 45 minutes he was outside. Yes, he just sat on my lap, and reclined on my stomach and chest (over my growing bump). Eventually he warmed up and decided to play with the measuring cups. He didn't want to get in the water, so I didn't push it, but he happily filled a measuring cup with water and took drinks from it or just poured it out on the grass. Over and over and over. He was soaked shortly after he started playing (I hadn't changed him into swimming attire), so I stripped his clothes off and let him run around in his diaper. Sam also decided to strip at that time, so he took off his swimming trunks and went naked. The pool was mostly shaded at that time, so I didn't worry about his parts that rarely see the light of day, seeing the light of day. I also didn't really worry about the neighbors seeing him as they haven't been out much lately and even if they were, I doubt they would care. So there was naked Sam and diaper-clad Matthew enjoying some time in the swimming pool.

It was a pretty fun afternoon. The weather was beautiful and the kids were happy. We had snack outside (yea!!!! the mess is outside!!!! I don't have to sweep!!!!) and altogether, spent almost 3 hours swimming and playing outside yesterday afternoon. The kids had early baths (before dinner) to wipe off the grime of swimming and sunscreen and they were fresh and refreshed when Jason returned home. Not that they were really relaxed or even in a subdued state from all the sunshine and play and lack of napping. How they have so much energy is a mystery. One of the many mysteries of little boys.

One on one time

The kids don't often get one-on-one time with me these days. Usually it's the three of us awake together, playing together, or I'm cleaning or cooking while they play, or we're all doing our own thing separately. But lately Matthew has been transitioning from two to one naps a day and generally his one nap occurs around late morning to lunch time. So Sam and I have one on one time for awhile, then when Matthew wakes it's usually time for Sam's nap, so then Matthew and I have one on one time. While it's exhausting for me to not have a break (and I'm particularly tired these days for some mysterious reason...) when both kids are napping, it's also been enjoyable to get to spend some time with each child individually.

Sam's time with me has consisted of much putting together of the fire truck floor puzzle. Yesterday we spent a good deal of time outside in the sandbox. And there is always lots of book reading. I'm not much of a player with the kids, I just don't really get into cars much, and I'd rather just read with the kids or color or paint with them, and let them do their own thing when it comes to cars and trains and stuff like that. We went to the library earlier in the week when it was around 100 and too hot to play outside so we have a fresh supply of books to read. Sam's current favorites include a book about a little dog who goes to visit a fire station, some Thomas the Tank Engine books (these really drive me crazy, I don't ever want to own one of these...at least if it's a library book I know my commitment to read it is limited), and a Richard Scarry airport book. The Richard Scarry books really are a lot of fun and educational too. I would love to own a library full of Richard Scarry books. Today we spent some time browsing Amazon for floor puzzles and new bed sheets. Since Sam really likes the fire truck floor puzzle I wanted to see what else was out there maybe for his birthday and he enjoyed telling me which puzzles to click on and look at. He also needs another set of sheets now that's he's moved to a double bed (we have one set of car/truck sheets) so we browsed for those and he, of course, gravitated toward the Disney Cars sheets (which are not going to happen, they're poorly made and overpriced). Anyway, we have fun and I appreciate the moments of uninterrupted time with my older boy.

Matthew's time with me is quite similar in some ways, but also very different. We too read a lot of books. However, Matthew's attention span is much shorter than Sam's and usually we only make it through the entire book for his favorites. For other books, we just read through 2-3 pages and then he's off to find another. Matthew's current favorites include a barn animal book with little flaps, a truck book, a Dick and Jane book called "Go and See" (this was also a favorite of Sam's a while ago and while annoying to me, it's short enough not to drive me crazy). He seriously goes through an entire stack of books (maybe 10 or 15) in less than 10 minutes as he just flips and pushes books aside, grabs another, flips briefly, pushes it aside, and on and on. Toward the end of this afternoon, around 2:30 or 3, it was clear that Matthew was slowing down (as was myself), but I didn't want to put him down for another nap as we were leaving for a friend's house as soon as Sam awoke from his nap. So he laid on the floor looking at books and I laid beside him reading my own. After awhile, I sat up, cross-legged and he came and laid his head in my lap and read books on his own. It was so nice to get to relax with the little guy as he is becoming more and more active and quiet, relaxed time with him is becoming more rare. He is quickly transitioning to a busy toddler and our times of cuddling are becoming less and less.

Despite my own tiredness and fatigue, I really have been enjoying my one on one time with my kids. While for the sake of my sanity and physical well-being, having time to myself when they are both napping is needed sometimes, I and the kids also need one on one time. And soon that will be very hard to come by with three little ones around. What will life be like then? Only time will tell.

Pictures

Here are a few pictures of what we've been doing lately. Matthew was engaging in one of his favorite activities, snack time and he's also enjoying reading a lot these days. He finds a place where he can sit by himself and takes a book and "reads" for awhile. In the past he preferred to read on the stairs, but lately he's been climbing onto the two-shelf unit that we have our CD player and other electronic devices on. He's just recently figured out how to climb onto it and it's a favorite spot of his these days. I need to take a picture of him in his reading nook sometime, but for now, enjoy Matthew's profile during snack.

One of Sam's favorite activities lately has been putting together a large floor fire truck puzzle. He needs a lot of assistance (and he milks Jason or my presence for all we're worth...meaning that he is capable of more than he shows sometime when he's putting the puzzle together...) so we help him put it together on the floor. We can only do this when Matthew is napping or in bed already as he's just not a good contributor to the whole process, preferring instead to pull pieces off the puzzle, walk around with random pieces and drop them places or excitedly walk on the finished puzzle. Anyway, Sam asks daily these days to put together the puzzle when Matthew is napping and after he goes to bed. So we do. When Sam finishes he does a "Puzzle completion dance" which involves happily running back and forth across the puzzle and doing his unique dance moves. It's worth seeing in person if you ever get the chance.

Manners

Pretty much since the kids started talking we started working on saying "please" and "thank you". We still have to remind Sam almost all the time to say please, but he seems to say "thank you" much more often. It appears that he is starting to get it. For example, yesterday we were getting ready to leave a friends' house so we were starting to pick up toys. Here is a snippet of our conversation:

Me: Sam, help put away toys.
Sam: No thank you.

Just another situation where he is reminding me that he is indeed two years old. Matthew seems to have jumped on the manners bandwagon too. He often asks for items (usually without words, just pointing, crying, nodding, etc. until we get him what he's asking for or figure out what he's asking for and say "No") but when he is given the particular item, he says "day doo". Now, that really doesn't seem like "Thank you" but the context in which he uses it and the way he says it, makes it unmistakable that he is actually saying "Thank you."

Playground socialization

You may think that I'm going to talk about how Sam or Matthew socializes with other kids at the playground, but you'd be mistaken. I'm going to talk about parental socialization. We spend a fair amount of time at playgrounds these days. I'd say we probably head to a playground two or three days a week. Often there are no other kids or families at the playground when we go, but there are plenty of times when there are other kids and parents around. And let me tell you, it can be rather awkward to be a parent at a playground these days.

Sam is a pretty independent player when we go to the playground, and I don't have to worry about him falling off the structure or climbing on structures he can't handle. Matthew, on the other hand, requires close supervision since he is still fairly unsteady, but thinks he is SuperMonkey like his brother and tries to do everything. So I follow closely. And I often come in close contact with other parents who are also following closely their little toddlers. What's so strange is that eye contact with other parents is hard to come by even though we come within feet of each other. It's really odd, uncomfortable and awkward to me to be so close to another adult and not make eye contact and say hello or make a comment about the weather or the kids. So awkward.  Just like I feel awkward sitting on the bus right next to another person but not talking because they're texting or listening to music. Weird. Now, I'm introverted so I'd often just rather say nothing than engage in conversation, but the close proximity compels me to say something and acknowledge one another's presence. Maybe it's that I grew up in a small town where you knew most people and said "Hello" or "Good morning" when passing on the street. I don't know. But Jason has noticed the strange parental culture too and he didn't grow up in a small town. He even has gone so far as to suggest that he really dislikes going to the Children's Museum as the parental culture is so engrossed in one's children, to the neglect of any adult conversation or acknowledgement.

Anyway, I'll be following Matthew up the stairs of the play structure and another mom will be helping her kid down the slide a few feet away and we'll both be talking to our toddlers who really can't talk back, but not talking or even looking at each other at all. I get uncomfortable just writing about this. The other day, a mom who I repeatedly tried to make eye contact with and say hello but she just wouldn't look at me (am I an alien or something?) said "Good bye" to Matthew when they were leaving! What's that about? Seriously uncomfortable and awkward! Well, whenever I'm able to make eye contact with another parent I inevitably overcome my introvertedness and say my typical opening line, "How old is your little one(s)?" The other parent always responds and we generally have friendly conversation from that point on and avoid the awkward situation in which we're only talking to and acknowledging our children. We can then talk about our kids' shoes, naps, snacks, playground disasters, jobs, groceries and many other topics that parents have in common with one another.

But why is it so hard to begin? Why the avoidance, if I may call it that? I really don't know. I actually enjoy the conversation, but maybe that's because I stay home with my little kids all day and don't get a lot of parental conversation. I could go on and on about similar scenarios, not just the playground, and not just involving parents, where people ignore each other as they're paying attention to their kids, or their "cell phones or other electronic devices" but I'll stop here for now. Can't we just say "Hi" or "Good morning"? Is it really that hard?

Matthew needs a nap

When Matthew is ready for nap he doesn't engage in the usual little kid signals to show that he's tired. He really doesn't cry too much or meltdown. On occasion he does cry, but that's not out of the ordinary for a kid who is frequently hungry, doesn't like a dirty diaper and gets picked on by his older brother, so it's not always a good indication of tiredness. Instead, he chooses other signals.

For example, yesterday when Matthew was ready for a nap he went over to the gate at the bottom of the stairs and started shaking them furiously. I asked if he was ready for nap and he nodded. Other times he just simply slows down. He stops bouncing from place to place and simply stands still somewhere for more than 5 seconds. He may be playing with a particular toy, looking out the window or reading, but he is still for an unusual amount of time. On these occasions you ask Matthew if he's ready for a nap and he'll often nod, then start blowing kisses and saying "nigh nigh". Really, it's that easy. Today I was working in the kitchen when Matthew was playing behind me. I can't really remember what he was playing with but I washed up at the sink and turned around and he was laying, stomach-down, on the kitchen floor. Just laying there. Clear indication of tiredness. Doesn't get much more obvious than that. He fussed some when I got him into his crib, but quickly he was out. It really is amazing how kids can communicate so much without using many words.

The sleep saga continues

It seems I've had a fair number of posts regarding Sam's sleep habits since I started this blog last August. Well, here's another. Actually, I'm going to do a recap of everything that's happened and what we've tried to do to work it out. Sometimes I feel like we're always playing catch up, trying to counter Sam's activities without much success, much like airport security measures taken in recent years...First it was no liquids, then removing your shoes, now full body scans and pat downs. Always one step behind.

Anyway, Sam was a good sleeper for a long time. We're talking 12 hours at night, a good nap in the afternoon and so on. Then he discovered his freedom. He could get out of the crib on his own. So the saga began. We moved him to a toddler bed sometime around Christmas. I was worried about him crashing out of his crib and so on. That actually worked fairly well as he initially didn't understand he could get out of bed without Jason or I coming to get him and apparently the allure of climbing out of the crib was gone. It was just a regular bed.

All good until Sam figured out he could get out whenever he wanted to, which he then did. His move: Get out of bed whenever he wanted. Counter-move: gently sending him back to bed (unsuccessful), bribing (unsuccessful), punishing by taking away toys or shutting his door (unsuccessful), finally...the clock. The color changing clock. It really was revolutionary and put an end to Sam getting up at 5AM and wanted to spend time with us. It also cut down on middle of the night wake ups, but they were not totally eliminated. Anyway, at least Sam stays in bed until around 6:30 or so each morning, waiting for his clock to turn yellow. I know that he often awakes before then as we'll catch him reading books before his clock turns. But he stays in his room. On weekends when his clock turns yellow, he often waits outside Jason and my bedroom door until we wake up too. We didn't coach him to do that, but if we're still asleep, he'll bring some books by our door and wait until we wake up. What a good boy.

Anyway, the clock solved the early wake up problem. Then he wanted his lights on at night. So we'd put him to bed, and he'd turn his lights on and stay up reading for much too long. So we put a little cover on his light switch so only adults with longer fingers can operate the light switch. That solved the light problem. But then he'd turn on the hallway lights. Jason rigged the hallway lights so they don't work, so that solved that problem. Then there have been all sorts of manifestations of other delay tactics and staying up later at night. Asking for a drink, using the magic words "I have to potty" (how quickly he learned to use pottying for manipulation), asking to be covered up, again, asking for another story, asking for a kleenex, asking for his music to be turned on again (it only plays for 30 min. which just isn't quite enough...) etc. etc. etc.

We decided to let Sam have his lights on for awhile after we put him to bed so he could calm down and read for awhile. We were hoping that would keep him in his room and prevent us from having to help him return to bed. So we set up his little lamp with a toddler-friendly button to turn it on and off and let him read after our bedtime routine. That was actually fairly successful (in that it reduced the total number of getting-up instances), but he still persists in getting out of bed and doing all sorts of random things like shutting all the other doors upstairs, creeping down the stairs to watch Jason and I watch TV and so on. When Jason and I go to bed, Sam is asleep, so we go ahead and turn off his light and go to bed. Except that now if he wakes up during the night, he uses his toddler-friendly light switch and turns his light on and reads in the middle of the night.

You may be wondering, as I have wondered myself, whether Sam really needs the sleep we're apparently trying to force upon him. Well, I really think he does. For one, he has these awful tantrums sometime between 10AM and noon...almost every day...and they're like 10 or 20 minutes...and the noise is unbearable. So I'll sometimes have him go to his room to calm down which often leads to him falling asleep. And he takes long naps, like 2-3 hours most of the time. I could settle for an hour or hour and a half, but he goes on and on and on. Secondly, I've talked to other parents with children of similar ages and they are going through the exact same thing. Can it really be that all our kids just suddenly go from needing 11 hours of sleep at night to 8? Really? Or perhaps they're all going through similar developmental stages where they're trying to exert control over their lives but clinging to the presence of their parents?

Anyway, our next move is to put a timer on Sam's light so it will not turn on between the hours of 9PM and 6AM. I've been meaning to do that for a few days, but haven't yet. I'm sure there will be a counter move, but I can't anticipate what it will be yet. I will report more later. The sleep saga continues.

Matthew is sleeping, generally without making a peep, from around 7 or 7:30PM until 6:30AM. The little angel. At least Sam will have prepared us for the transition which is sure to come in the future. For now, we enjoy our little angel sleeper.

Destruction

I don't quite understand the kids' destructive behavior. Now, it's really not that bad, but occasionally it is manifested and I just wonder, "Why?". For example, today Sam was down in the basement when he started grabbing whatever was close by him and hurling it under the couch, which was in reclined position. There went the car pillow, then a block, then a sock, then...whatever he could find. What is that about? I wonder, "Why?" and then, "Is a girl going to do that too?" He'd spin around, grab something new and chuck it, then he would run around wildly, grab something new, chuck it and repeat.

Matthew also has destructive tendencies. Lately he's been interested in playing with blocks. He seems to enjoy wooden blocks better than MegaBlocks right now and he likes to make little towers of them, usually stacking 2-3 blocks on top of each other. Then he yells, "Go! Go!" and swings his hand into his little tower, sending the blocks flying. It's followed by laughs. Then he repeats. Another little tower, another yell of "Go!" and another swing of the arm and the blocks go flying.

Both kids enjoy playing in the sandbox. And both kids also seem to enjoy being destructive in the sandbox. They like to make sand mountains consisting of basically a bucket of sand overturned. Then they like even better to stomp on them. Their stomps are joined with laughs and then they want more sand castles/mountains made, just for the purpose of destruction.

Altogether, though, their destruction is relatively mild and relegated to "proper" settings. It isn't directed against each other, it doesn't involve my knitting projects or dishes and it usually doesn't involve throwing food, drinks or the like around. It just exists and the kids seem to enjoy it. So, go ahead, kids, be destructive, just keep it contained.

What do you do?

We're reading a lot of a new Richard Scarry book these days, I can't even remember the title but it's about a town and talks about what work the people do in the town. There are little vignettes about different workers like a farmer, doctor, building a house and so on. On one of the pages in the beginning, it introduces the reader to the concept of different work, then it asks, "What does your Daddy do for work? What does your mommy do for work?"

So I asked Sam those questions before bed last night while we were reading the book.

Me: What does Daddy do for work?
Sam: He work in the basement
Me: What does Mommy do for work?
Sam: Make cinnamon rolls (I had made some the day before)
Sam: And Matthew?
Me: YEs, what does Matthew do for work?
Sam: He play cars
Me: What do you do for work?
Sam: I play cars too!
Me: What does your baby sister do for work?
Sam: Nothing

On Demand isn't working

It's become part of our routine to watch a cartoon when I put Matthew down for a nap. This averted Sam's naptime antics which included him running circles in Matthew's room, climbing in Matthew's crib, yelling, slamming the door and other distracting things while I was trying to read to Matthew and rock him before his nap. So Sam gets a cartoon. And Matthew and I get a peaceful naptime routine.

Now that Matthew isn't always napping in the morning, Sam still thinks that he gets to watch a cartoon. So today Matthew didn't seem to want to take a morning nap, although Sam started begging to watch a cartoon as soon as we left the Y. I told him that if Matthew took a nap we could watch a cartoon. He insisted on watching a cartoon. By insisted, I mean that he started whining. Loudly. Screaming. Crying. So that strengthened my resolve to not watch a cartoon today. I mean, I just can't give in to whining, crying, screaming, tantrum-like behavior, right? That would reinforce his bad behavior. So I told him that no, we weren't watching a cartoon today. The tantrum escalated. No giving in now. No turning back. No signs of weakness in the face of a two-year-old tantrum.

The only problem is that I really can't stand his tantrums. They irritate me like no other thing on earth. I can handle nails on a chalkboard better than Sam's tantrums. Apparently I'm not alone too as I heard on the news lately that some study showed that little kids whining has been empirically shown to be the most annoying noise for adults (for more info read this). It pushes me to the brink of insanity and it goes on and on and on. I usually employ distraction tactics for myself such as turning on the radio (as if I could hear it) or frantically cleaning something. He usually follows me around screaming. Anyway, today I just couldn't take it anymore, so I tried something different.

"Sam, the On Demand isn't working. We can't watch any cartoons." See, we usually use Comcast's On Demand feature to watch whatever program we want to, such as the Berenstein Bears, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, etc. Earlier I said that the TV was broken, but Sam grabbed the remote and turned it on. The smarty-pants. So I resorted to saying that we couldn't get any cartoons through On Demand. Sam seemed to know that that meant as he quieted down right away. He said something about Daddy fixing it. Then he asked to watch a program on the TV downstairs as he knows that programs come from somewhere else down there (we don't have cable downstairs, just Netflix through the XBox). I said I didn't know how to do it. He said something about Daddy figuring it out. Smarty-pants.

Anyway, I told two lies to get my child to quiet down and maintain my sanity. I read somewhere that parents generally shouldn't do things like saying somethings broken when it really isn't just to avoid confrontation or tantrums. Parents need to be in authority and learn to say no and kids need to hear parents say no. So I generally try that. But I just couldn't take it anymore. Seriously, the tantrums related to tv watching are extreme, and probably account for 90% of the tantrums in our house. So the On Demand is broken. I don't know for how long, maybe indefinitely, but it sure made for a more peaceful day.

Happy Independence Day!

Well, it's been a whirlwind of activity over the weekend with 4th of July festivities and a visit from Jason's brother and his family. Sam enjoyed frequent visits to Grammy and Papa's and playing baseball, cars and other games with his cousins. He also got to go to the Mall of America with his extended family while Jason, Matthew and I stayed home. We heard about it later in bits and pieces and have continued to hear about it. For example, today Sam said, "I rode with Papa on the escalator. Josh rode by himself." Yes, Sam. Apparently that's what happened and apparently Sam covered his eyes the during the escalator ride. Now he has been on escalators before, but on a much smaller scale, so perhaps the huge escalators at the MOA were too much for the little guy. He also talked about the riding in the trucks at the MOA, but he didn't ride in the trucks, Sam talked about how his cousins did. He relayed a lot of information about what happened, that he watched, but did not participate in.

Other activities over the weekend were similar. For example, the annual 4th of July water balloon fight was followed up by running through the sprinklers (or sitting on the sprinklers as some of the cousins did...). Sam was having nothing to do with that as anything to do with moving water (shower, sprinklers, fountains, etc.) is not his thing. He warmed up a little bit toward the end and ran within maybe 5 feet of where the sprinklers were spreading water, but that was about it. He did, however, participate in the water balloon fight, although he preferred to grab two water balloons at a time and throw them on the ground a few feet from him, much to the chagrin of Jason who has spent considerable time filling the balloons. Maybe next year he'll better understand the concept of "water balloon fight" but for now, he enjoyed just throwing them and seeing them break.

Not surprisingly, Matthew enjoyed the sprinklers. Jason would hold him and swoop him down into the water and he would laugh and squeal. He clearly has a different approach toward water than Sam. And clearly that's not their only difference, as we've learned over the past year.

We didn't make it to any festivals, carnivals or fireworks. It's been a few years since we've done that and will probably be a few more years before we go that route. Since Sam doesn't like loud noises, fireworks probably would not be his thing and since Jason and I don't like tired, crabby toddlers, keeping the kids up late for 4th of July festivities is not our thing either. Someday.

We seem to say that a lot. Someday we'll go to 4th of July fireworks. Someday we'll go on a family roadtrip. Someday Jason and I will take a tropical vacation, rather than Clear Lake IA. Someday Sam will really help with laundry and not just think he's helping...It's funny because as much as I want to move past some elements of the little kid years to bigger kid years, I really do enjoy these times. The language development of the kids and just watching them master basic skills like walking and riding a tricycle are such rewarding and joyful experiences. It sounds corny, but it really is true. Someday I won't get a tickle out of watching Matthew walk around, waving his arms and attempting to balance himself because he'll have it down pat. Someday I won't smile seeing Sam ride a trike because he won't ride one when he gets older. Someday I won't marvel at Sam's conversational skills because it will just be normal, not a novel development. It's all a matter of perspective and some days, I just need to remember that.

Dilemmas

Today as I was trying to hang up some coat hooks in our front closet, Matthew was having a rather hard time with not having my full attention. Sometimes he gets like that. He's a toddler, so I suppose that's normal, but sometimes I just want to get things done. So then I consider what I can do for him or give him to keep him happy and let me have 5 or 10 minutes to finish up whatever project I'm working on. And then there's the dilemma. Do I give Matthew my time and attention and ignore my project? Well, sometimes that happens. But today we already read some books and colored, so he definitely wasn't being neglected. He wasn't interested in our regularly accessible toys, so then I move on to considering more novel things. Is there a toy he hasn't played with for awhile? Something high up on a shelf? Is there something (not a toy) noisy and interesting to a little guy that I can give him that won't be dangerous? Like crinkled aluminum foil...or a few spoons to bang together? Hmmmm...What do I do? Well, today I actually thought that maybe Matthew was tired and needed a nap and sure enough, he went down for a nap without a peep and I was able to finish hanging the coat hooks and hang some other organizers in the laundry room.

Other times, though, the dilemma isn't so easily solved. This often occurs when I'm in the kitchen trying to get lunch or dinner ready. This is a common time for Matthew to complain and he often tries to wedge himself between my legs and the cabinets and reaches his arms up to me (all the while loudly complaining) to hold him. I have a number or tricks I use in this case, but all involve a dilemma. Like I know Matthew likes to take freezer bags out of their little paperboard box and spread them over the kitchen floor and crinkle them up and so on. I know he likes this activity and it may buy me the time I need to finish, but then I also have to pick them all up at the end. And he likes to get pop cans (unopened) out of the pantry and walks around pretending to drink their contents. But then he leaves them in random locations. So I have to pick them up. He likes to get into the baking cabinet and pull out measuring cups and bang them together, but then he ends up taking things out of the cabinet (like a mixing bowl or the baking powder) and leaving them near the stairs, on the ottoman or at various places on the floor. And then I pick them up. I get my work done, but I have to spend time putting things back together. I guess I assume that the net outcome is positive (in terms of time, happiness and peacefulness), but the drawbacks are more picking up work and a sore back (which is an almost constant for me during pregnancy).

Another dilemma has to do with putting toys and other kid items at kid level. On one hand, they can reach them and get them out on their own, but on the other hand, they might just randomly get out a bunch of stuff and leave it everywhere without really even playing with it. Sam is old enough that he has to pick up after himself and we have plenty of tricks up our sleeves to encourage picking up (i.e. "Sam, you can play outside when you pick up all your books" or "Sam, your snack is ready when you're done putting cars away"), but Matthew is just plain to little for that yet and yet he is a major culprit in randomly picking up toys and taking them everywhere...the laundry room, the pantry, the bathroom, the kitchen...So the kids can get what they want when they want without asking or needing assistance (which is helpful when they can't really talk yet), but then we can a huge mess on our hands. Ugh.

Matthew also really likes our craft items. I have a little plastic container with colors and markers in it and another with random stuff like paintbrushes, watercolor paints, glue sticks and glue bottles. While Matthew doesn't do too much crafty yet (he colors some with assistance) he just loves getting into the craft containers and exploring their contents. He can't open the glue or other messy items yet, so I often just let him explore. He loves to chew on paintbrushes and empty and refill the crayon/marker container, but there are often remnants of his exploring left in various places around the house. What to do? I want them accessible so Sam can get them out and Matthew really likes to explore them, but then they're everywhere! For now, I settle for picking things up a lot and giving the kids more freedom to explore and play when they want to and where they want to. Is the net result really positive? I believe so, although my belief may very well be delusional. In any event, this is a short-lived phase of toddler life and maybe someday I will look fondly back at these days. Maybe not, but I'll at least be optimistic.